my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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