my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
