he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
