He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
