You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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