He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
