Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
