; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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