At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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