new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i out mim tonsoeep
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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