We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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