i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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