You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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