I wish I could teleport
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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