office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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