There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
