these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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