I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
