no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
