I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
