no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
