Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
