i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
