College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
