problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
