yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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