Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize