do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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