About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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