Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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