I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I touched a dick in church today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
