Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
