Someone shit on the floor
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
