It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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