Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
