Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
