So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
