he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
