went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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