my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
