ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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