Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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