I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize