WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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