Already got asked if we're dating
if you like me you must not know who I am
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
