I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
