What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
