They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
whose ass print is on the piano?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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