I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
