I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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