i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
