i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
