My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
