He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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