i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
someone owes me an orgasm
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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