yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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