You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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