Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
