everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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