Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
