MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
