Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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