You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
